Session 2, Week 3
The DELTA Studio watched a short clip this week about Growth Mindset that included this quote from Michael Jordan “I’ve missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times, I’ve been trusted to take the game-winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” Those of us committed to Growth Mindset know that failure is absolutely part of success. Theoretically we are excited about and are grateful for failure. However, that does not mean it isn’t painful to watch other young heroes fail. It is tempting to want to rescue our young people from failure. But as we resist that temptation, we allow them the experiences critical for their growth and eventual success and joy. So how did our heroes fail this week…
In the Spark Studio this week, heroes explored geodes. Exploring geodes was fascinating. They look like an ordinary rock on the outside, but we marveled at the crystals that had developed inside. Geodes develop when water brings minerals in through cracks in rock, and then into a void. Minerals build up and over time turn into solid crystals. Most rocks are exposed to water and minerals and never grow crystals, but because geodes have a void, there is a place for the magic to happen. Just like geodes, our voids or failures give us opportunities to grow.
One hero played a trick that upset another hero. After realizing that it was hurtful, there was a void from regret in his little heart. We talked about the feelings that arise and that it is a good thing that our bodies help us feel that way, because that is what motivates us to do better next time. The trick is to allow ourselves to feel just enough to help us improve and not let ourselves focus on it to the point that shame paralyzes us. This isn’t just a process that happens in our early years. Lifelong learners will continue to grow from this process.
Sometimes failure is failing to get along and becoming angry with one another. As we embrace rather than ignore that failure and talk through our different and strong opinions, we may change our viewpoint or develop more compassion for someone else’s opinions.
A quest challenge to create a landform with squads started an argument that led to several heroes entering their panic zone. While emotions were high, heroes couldn’t begin to think outside of their own vision and the debate between making a volcano or an island continued. But after taking a break to cool down, one hero had an idea that seemed new and exciting to all heroes involved. It was like a switch flipped and now they were doing a dance about the epic “island volcano” they were eager to make.
The heroes had a challenge to fit all the materials in their jar. They failed – over and over. Heroes dumped everything out and tried again and again, seeing how much they could fit. Eventually they discovered that if they prioritized the larger materials first, sprinkling in the small materials along the way, they could fit it all in.
These two heroes felt like these Montessori works were too challenging. They had already failed multiple times. But they pushed through and eventually succeeded. Their faces say it all!
The Fire Studio had an interesting Socratic question this week: Would you rather fail at something in front of a large group of strangers, or a smaller group of people you know? Initially, the studio was split nearly half and half on this one, with some movement between the groups during the discussion, but the reasons why heroes chose one side or the other were fascinating. While many shared the discomfort and resistance they feel toward public failures, there was also much growth mindset laced in their comments. There was recognition that failures, even public ones, are bound to happen to everyone one of us in life, and that’s okay. Still, it’s not always a pleasant experience. When the question was adjusted to, “Would you rather fail in front of your fellow travelers in the Fire Studio, or a group of other people,” most heroes chose the Fire Studio group. As they build their hero’s journey culture together, the Fire Studio is becoming a safe place to make mistakes and push out of the comfort zone, even when the chance of failure is higher that way. It’s a beautiful thing to witness.
This week was rather emotional in the studio. An argument about materials, a bike collision, a game that ended up hurting feelings, and a vulnerable activity in “Jolliness” brought several heroes to tears through the week. Each of these moments could be seen as failures. As a guide, I don’t see all the situations occur, but when I do, it’s difficult to not swoop in to solve the problem. When I hold back, I always see something wonderful happen. Here are a few examples: A hero in the argument about materials ended up in tears. She said later it was the first time she cried at school. I asked her how she felt about that and she said, “It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be.” She was also encouraged by friends who noticed and comforted her, and was able to find strength to apologize for her part in the argument. The injured hero from the bike collision took some quiet time to assess her needs and rest before rejoining the group. The hero with hurt feelings from the game realized he had a tool to hold the other heroes accountable to their contract promises, and he found the courage to use the tool. The heroes feeling especially sad in Jolliness and didn’t ask to be excused or hide from the group. The group responded with mature empathy and respect for their emotions.
Every one of those heroes and many others found themselves outside of their comfort zone this week, but they didn’t shrink. They advocated for themselves, or offered compassion to themselves, or found courage they didn’t know they had before. It really can be fun to do hard things!
Heroes had four diverse and engaging Quest challenges this week. While these are not examples of failures, we wanted to share what they did. Monday: Heroes worked to add layers to their Squad soil – they are measuring changes and hope to have healthier soil by the end of the session. They added scraps from their lunch, leaves, more soil, brown paper and water. But their favorite part was searching and digging for worms to add. We landed with the question: If you were a farmer and bought land that looked all dried out, would you worry? The way heroes incorporate their learning into their answers is amazing – we have geniuses running around at CHOICE.
Tuesday we explored the crust of the earth in relation to volcanoes, earthquakes, and plate tectonics. Heroes learned the difference between P, S, Love waves and the effects of these waves. They built different structures to see which could withstand an earthquake. They noticed triangles are strong, especially if there are multiple within the structure. Many found success if they dug buried supports deep within the “earth”. At landing we discussed: If you were a builder, which structure would be the strongest to use for a community build? It was hard to end the discussion for Studio Maintenance, heroes really enjoyed talking about engineering concepts.
On Wednesday we continued learning about volcanoes, specifically Kimberlite volcanoes where Diamonds are sourced from. The Heroes studied and discussed how diamonds are formed under extreme heat and pressure. They then created their own unique diamond (not one is the same) and wrote positive things about themselves. We landed asking if it is hard or easy to write good things about oneself? The quiet focus this day was a total contrast to Jello Earthquake day. Your Heroes are capable of working in energetically different ways. So beautiful to watch.
Thursday the Heroes discussed if they think volcanoes trigger earthquakes or earthquakes trigger volcanoes? They learned about both, then worked as Squads to complete a challenge. Using the Earthquake boards they made, they had to build a chain reaction system that would knock their vinegar into the volcano of baking soda. We wondered if the challenge was too challenging, would anyone be able to do it? In the end they all succeeded in creating lava flow. The best part was how engaged every hero was and how different all the structures were.
Smoke from crossed wires. A fixed mindset. Melted plastic from a soldering iron put away too soon. A questionably paced quest. A series circuit that just won’t light. Broken links. A sarcastic comment immediately regretted. Permissions forgotten. Distraction embraced. Studio contracts temporarily ignored. Discussions with no regard for Rules of Engagements. Accountability for not meeting goals neglected.
All of these failures happened to one or many of us in the DELTA Studio this week. Each could be cause for discouragement – and often are. All together, they could be downright disheartening. However, at CHOICE, heroes and guides alike have tools to help them see failure as nothing more threatening than information.
That those wires are best kept apart. That cooling off is a good thing. That enjoyment of learning trumps speed of learning. That friends are forgiving. That giving into distraction rarely feels good and never gets us where we want to be. That setting standards gives us vision. That we need to take another look at our contracts and promises. That sometimes we need to have difficult discussions.
As guides at CHOICE we have a great opportunity to daily reflect on our role and response to our heroes’ failures. Are there tools we can introduce that would help heroes better navigate failure. What team building opportunities can we provide so heroes can better work through difficult failures together? How are our squad dynamics? What launch can we create to encourage heroes to kick out Mr & Mrs Victim and continue to adopt a Growth Mindset? We do our best but often fail in this analysis. And then we have our own personal failures… The Socratic Questions that are duds. The unclear directions to a challenge. A challenge we create that is in most heroes’ comfort zone or most heroes’ panic zone. Stepping in when we shouldn’t have. Answering questions. The list goes on. And yet somehow, amidst all this failure from young people and old people alike, we are all progressing and having a marvelous time! I echo Michael Jordan’s quote: “I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”
I am so grateful that at CHOICE, adults and young people alike are surrounded by opportunities for growth, and nourished by a culture that sees failure as an inevitable and welcome step on the road to becoming our best selves, living out our callings, and changing the world! Let’s fail (and succeed) together!