Session 3, Week 3
After two weeks of diligent effort learning the names of our guests and preparing games, crafts, and decorations, Monday finally arrived. It is amazing to be able to release 70 heroes to the street to walk to a party venue 0.7 miles away and trust that the buddy groups would watch out for and take care of each other.
The DS heroes walked over earlier in the day to set up. It must be remembered that their FS and SS counterparts had helped plan and make all of the decorations and activities. When I walked into the gym I was once again impressed by the incredible things young people are capable of.
All the heroes arrived and chaos ensued, but as soon as our party guests arrived the chaos morphed into a truly beautiful experience. Heroes went way beyond politeness, to practiced interactions, to genuine enjoyment of their new friends. Heroes all played different roles. Some manned their stations diligently throughout the entire event. Some enjoyed the stations – which was great as we had prepared for many more guests than attended. Others stayed by the side of their guest the entire time. These heroes let their guests lead the way and then supported them at each station. And while doing so, they talked, listened or were comfortable sitting in silence. One DS hero who was with a guest said that the most meaningful part of the entire session was “watching Jenifer make her baby Jesus, manger, Mary, and Joseph out of clay.”
Not one guest at the party walked around alone, lost, or awkward. From the adults that run the special needs group we heard comments such as “she has never smiled like that in the 5 years we have known her”, or “this is the first time we have ever felt such a comfortable environment, it has felt like they have all been friends for years” or “I have never seen a group immediately jump in and not seem uncomfortable or scared.” In reflection the following days, the feelings were mutual. FS heroes commented on how good they felt in preparing for the event, and that it was worth all the effort. They were noticeably touched; as manifested by their silence as they looked at the pictures from the party of their new friends smiling. Several of the DS heroes reported that the party was the most meaningful experience of the session and what helped them most to change their comfort and enjoyment levels among friends with special needs. One of the spark heroes said “It was the best party I have ever been to!”
The party was a big beautiful gift of friendship. We see small and simple gifts of friendship in the Spark studio every day.
Sharing experiences is a gift of friendship. Sure you could dance,
explore wind,
and break up ice on your own.
But it wouldn’t be near as fun and there wouldn’t be anyone to validate how amazing it is when you notice the small details on how the ice is breaking up!
You could explore loose parts in the wonder bins, but with a friend you can create a game and go far beyond what you would have done on your own. Playing games with others is a gift of friendship.
If there wasn’t a friend to appreciate your Pokemon cards or homemade play money, it would lose its value.
During outside time one hero felt he wasn’t being included in a game. When he came to tell the guide about it, it was a friend that overheard and took the initiative to go find out what was going on. She learned that they welcomed anyone to play, if they play by the rules. He got clarification on what the rules were and then he seamlessly entered the game. Advocating is a gift of friendship.
Even our challenging goals that are done individually, would not be as exciting if you didn’t celebrate with people that care about challenging yourself. Celebrating with each other is a gift of friendship.
Patience and kindness are great gifts of friendship. Spark heroes were very interested in learning how to dribble a basketball this week. It took patience and kindness for those who had already learned to dribble to teach their friends.
The FS and DS heroes planned studio Christmas parties on the last day of the session. The Fire Studio gave a great gift of friendship to the Spark heroes as they decided to include the Sparks in some of their celebrations. They organized games for the Sparks to do and played the games with them. Building friendships between the studios has been such a joy to see this session. The Sparks have made connections with the heroes throughout the school. They know each other by name. They give each other high-fives in the hall and greet one another in the morning.
The Fire Studio heroes finished up this memorable friendship session with so much HEART! From the heart heroes put into their friendships with the special need heroes they met, to the hearts heroes studied in a biology dissection work, heroes were engaged, selfless, and courageous.
Heroes used warm hearts and tough minds to hold themselves and their running partners accountable in this session’s 360 review. Honest feedback is a gift! They also poured their hearts into celebrating each other at the end of session badge ceremonies! As we discussed “Namaste”, heroes shared ways this session that they were able to say to their friends, old and new, “the light in me honors the light in you.”
They saw their once empty walls of friendship, filled up this week. Each leaf was a gift of friendship – an act of kindness they had witnessed.
The Fire Studio was especially grateful for the gift of a visit this week from Charlotte and Jenna. Baylynne sure loves her sister and Charlotte had plenty of happy things to share with us. The Fire Studio really enjoyed learning more about Charlotte and counting her as one of their friends.
As heroes finished up badges, caught up on Limericks, deep cleaned, and made watercolor card sets to give away, a hero commented “Your creativity turns out better when you give it away.” They are experiencing and recognizing the gift of giving in friendship.
The Fire Studio is probably our most proficient party planning studio. As part of their Christmas party they asked Paul to dress up as Santa and come to their party. Paul was unavailable that day, but he found a substitute 🙂
As long as he was here, Santa figured he might as well visit all the studios!
We surveyed the DS heroes anonymously at the end of this week. Specific questions about: Their comfort level around friends with special needs. Their knowledge of what to do around friends with special needs. Their desire for friendship with friends with special needs. What experience they will remember most? What experiences were meaningful to them? The results were near unanimous. Our DS heroes put in the work; They gave gifts of friendship in the form of effort, love, willingness and desire, and it came back 10 fold to them. Our heroes reported true change. It was beautiful to behold.
Lucy was a big catalyst to that change. Lucy came and spent a full day with the DS heroes on Tuesday. The changes in the visit from the 1st week to the last week were incredible. Our DS heroes went from being nervous, avoiding, and trying but not knowing what to do, to engaging, snuggling, planning things that both they and Lucy would enjoy and desiring to form a real friendship with Lucy. Lucy felt it and responded! From what the heroes shared about what that visit meant to them, and what Lucy’s dad shared about what it meant to Lucy, there was truly giving and receiving on all sides.
200% accountability is an underutilized gift of friendship. The health of the DS studio depends on it. In an effort to inspire them with a world class example of holding one another accountable, the DS studio was given the special opportunity to visit The Other Side Academy in Salt Lake. The TOSA is a “peer-driven” community with many similarities to the learning methodology of CHOICE. The director and students there spoke about and modeled the difficult but essential responsibility a friend has to hold his or her friends accountable. Whether the infraction is theft, lying, or just not living up to our promises, friends hold us accountable because they see our potential to be better and they care. As our new friends at the TOSA shared their impactful life stories, we heard wisdom in so many areas of life. Ask your hero what they want to remember from that visit.
If you were to track all your conversations with friends – to mark down every time you spoke about ideas/events/things, every time you spoke unkindly about someone else, and every time you spoke kindly about someone else – what would your tracker look like? The DS heroes were challenged to do just that, to track their conversations for 5 days. What did they notice from tracking their conversations? I usually let the other person do all the talking; I often make fun of people even if its not super mean, its like im teasing them; I talk more about other people than I would like to; that I have many pointless conversations; I don’t think I tracked my conversations accurately; I feel less nervous, and I know what I should do more; I generally speak unkindly and then kindly; ya i talked bad about people; I don’t really have any meaningful conversations; i talk more bad about people then i want too; I don’t say good things about people very often.; Yes. I talk about my sister in a rude way. I rarely say things about other people. I fight with my dad a lot.; I should talk more kindly and less non kindly; good and bad things were around the same; i was really awkward; that they are nice people;
What do they want to change about their conversations? Talk more; I would like to say nicer things about people; talk less about other people; not talk about people behind backs; Being more inclusive to the person who has a disability.; watch my speech; i talk about boring stuff; yeah talk less about other people; Have more meaningful conversations and less not important conversations.; not talk bad about people; Say good things more!!; I would like to say kinder things about my sister.; talk nice about people; Not talk poorly of people; more good things; be less awkward; be kind
These realizations and desires for change can be great gifts of friendship moving forward in their lives.
Amongst all the serious discussions and challenges this week, we also played lots of games, painted our plaster reliefs, finished lots of session goals, dissected hearts and blew things up! (That was my gift to them – listening to them and letting them blow up their cities rather than turning them into gingerbread houses).
The DS heroes have a Christmas tradition of choosing a name at random and then purchasing a small gift for that fellow traveler. Watching them open those gifts is one of my personal highlights. Heroes are excited to receive their gifts, but you can see in their faces that they are far more excited to watch the friend that they gave to, open and receive their gift. They are thoughtful givers, buying gifts that relate to one another’s unique interests. They are gracious receivers verbally expressing gratitude in the thoughtfulness of one another. While the physical gifts are fun, it is manifestation of the gift of friendship that I think makes this event so special.
I struggle with favorites – it’s hard to pick just one. But Session 3 may just be my favorite each year. It is hard to beat a session where all three studios come together in an outward focus. During a season that is focused on gifts of all kinds, your heroes truly gave the gift of friendship in so many beautiful ways. As the picture at the start of the blog represents – and no, I didn’t stage that, he did it all on his own! – your heroes truly gave of themselves this session. However, after watching them and listening to them it would be hard to argue that they didn’t receive far more than they gave!